Decision Day Approaching for 5-Star Competitor

A major spoke in the Memorial wheel is expected to make his decision public this week as Jon Cobb is set to decide whether or not to honor a previous commitment. As fate had it, The Jiggaman was blindsided by information that a former frat bro was to be married on Memorial Day weekend. This was a major hurdle that the Memorial Committee has had to deal with for the better part of a month. All things came to a head 2 weekends ago in The Windy City as The Beekeeper and The Wedgebuster wined & dined El Jiggerino in an attempt to sway him to join his comrades on the hill. He made a pre-mature commitment while under the influence of Yuengling & Ricky D's enthusiasm but has since decided to continue to weigh his options.

Who will Jigs be giving 'The Bird' to This Week - STD or The Memorial???

Many insiders claim The Jiggaman - known for his brash and flashy style - has had trouble sleeping and eating recently while wrestling with this life-altering decision. But, as is his flashy custom, Jigs is trying to schedule a Formal Announce-ment in Hempfield Area High School's Main Auditorium. Says Jigs, "That little piece of shit auditorium that Legs had study hall in back in '96 couldn't hold my family and friends who plan on seeing where my future lies! We're having this sucker in the Main One!!" It is expected that The Refereezy, Casey Cavannaugh, Coach Lawrence (fresh off a BJ from the hall monitor) and John Tempo will be at The Jiggaman's side as he puts on the hat of his future. Said Tempo: "I don't even know why I'm here. I barely know any of these guys! ...I just have a feeling that this is a decision that could altar the landscape of The 2008 Memorial Competition!"

True dat, Tempo. True dat! Quite frankly... this is a decision that could make Ricky D and the Memorial dance for joy!!
__________________________________________________________________

Elsewhere in Westmoreland County.......

- Big Sweaty is Signed Sealed & Delivered!!!! While this was expected and is a signing that doesn't come with near the fanfare of Cobb's decision, Sweaty is a HUGE cog. Never underestimate the value of a Big Man who can move, throw and chug beers. See: Shuttle Run, '07! Also, his signing was the one that the Committee felt rather uncertain about in the spring of 2007. Funny how a year can change things!

- Returning champion Kevin Bowler is also Signed, Sealed & Delivered!!!! This news comes to us via the Denver Post. Bowler is pumped up and primed for a repeat run to the Cup! He even threw an extra $10 in to help ensure that Yuengling will be flowing at the Red Oak Chalet! That is one dedicated S.O.B!!

- Rattsfield is expected to announce his pledge this weekend. As per his custom, he has been unable to locate an envelope. Some people just have trouble with stationary and correspondance. NBD.