Gentlemen,We are almost there. The moment we wait all year for. The moment we've trained our whole lives for. The Memorial.
A few recent happenings have put some questions in play. I, and I'm sure all of you, believe however that these are only minor obstacles.
1. Rick, Ratt, Craig, and Biz are on a bender for the ages. I received a telegram yesterday stating that Rick slept in the suit he wore to Krista's wedding for 3 days straight. Will this affect their performance? If I were a betting man, which in fact I am, I'd put my money on it helping their abilities. But will all of this partying affect the old bones of Ratt and The Biz? We will see. I know that next year I'm just taking this whole week off, going to NYC and getting absolutely destroyed with Biz and whoever else wants to participate in The Memorial takes Manhattan.
2. I hear Ratt came down with some sickness and Larry sent him some antibiotics and told him
"You can't be sick for The Memorial." This is just amazing.
3. How will The King handle his obviously exagerrated 50 lb.weight gain? When he stares Meltdown Lake in the eye Saturday morning, what will be going through his mind? Am I going to sink? I'm going to get you back you bastard lake!!!!??? Again, we will see. Let's all hope he brings some 5 hour energies though. Those are always a smart way to get pumped up and yell at your partner for 15 minutes leading up to every event.
4. How will Big SweaTy handle an 80 degree sunny day? For SweaTy this is like playing basketball on top of a burning hot stove. How will he handle looking/feeling like he just spent 8 hours doing can-openers into an above ground pool full of Crisco? One things for certain, his enthusiasm, as always, will be at an all time high.
I can't wait until Friday night!! It's almost here. The laughs and High-5's will be flying, the beers will be getting chugged, and Bowler's nose will be gushing blood soon!!! The big question, who will take home The Memorial Cup of Champions, will be answered. This is going to be awesome. I'd like to thank you guys for letting me write this column after only competing once. It means a lot. Next year I plan on going a step further by taking all of the blog columns, adding a page on each competitor, getting people to "pledge" their well wishes to the competitor of their choosing, getting some fake advertisements from Orange's, Dominic's, Harry's, etc. made (get your drawing hand ready Thunder!) and publishing a 4-color Media Guide to be handed out on site.
I will see you at The Guffey Estate!
-Nacho
